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Friday, February 20, 2009

I was a bit hesitant about sharing this with the masses, probably due to an underlying insecurity with coming off as arrogant and/or self-centered, but I'm going to share it anyway.  Head first.  Here I go.  It's brief, so stick with it.

Last Saturday (Valentine's Day, to be exact), I ended my night by going to That's My Jam, a queer dance party in "Bed Stuy," (more or less Clinton Hill area) that hopes but alas fails to be a diverse representation of the queer population that exists Brooklyn.  Yet, it's super white, super specific and reflective of all the other "queer dance parties" I venture to go to in and around Manhattan, Williamsburg, etc.  Same sea of white faces, same overwhelming feeling of feeling like a little chocolate chip and not quite knowing where to go to have a nice night of queer dancing in the neighborhood if you don't want to go to The Lab and also want a nice mix of gender representations and spectrums of gayness, queerness, etc.   But at That's My Jam you get some brown hopefuls who drop in or like me, keep dropping in in hopes that someday it'll be a little browner.  In any case, I digress.  Back to the point.  Stick with it.

As I was dancing with friends at TMJ last Saturday I got a tap on the shoulder.  Intoxicated and socially awkward to boot, I turned to the young woman with big hair as she leaned in close to me.  I made eye contact and over the thumping vibrations of the unsatisfactory soundtrack in the background she said to me, "I just wanted to let you know that your cipHER helped me come out."  I don't remember what I said.  I think I awkwardly smiled and nodded.  I was a bit speechless.

I just wanted to make note though, that whoever you are, thank you so much for sharing that.  Zami was a dream of mine and though often selfish when thinking of the impact it has on a larger scale, I forget that as a collective, we all made something memorable and inspiring happen those days in April.  Let's work on making progress this second time around.  Let's work to create our own histories and support one another in ways we don't even know.

I'm down.  Are y'all?


  1. I don’t think it’s self centered to share that story, in fact it’s so important. Without the validation of your hard work and compassion it’s hard to gauge what kind of an impact you’ve actually had on the life of someone you don’t even know!... that and I guess the fact that it occurred while you felt like a chocolate chip in a sea of white faces. It makes it even more significant. These kinds of moments are what help fuel a new tied of energy...they keep you pushing to accomplish your goals. It shows that your ideas put to action have impacted other people. By sharing this you validate the importance of personal testimony even further. I believe we’ll get there one day when people say, oh not everything is black and white, these identity problems are not made up in our heads, this really is the way life is.

  2. Perhaps you would appreciate my wallpaper art on Ping Desktop / Laptop Wallpapers:
    Heavily Babe oriented, I guess it's mostly for men.
    Gender neutral, and certainly no less important to me is my poetry on Single Swingle:
    Miscellaneous personal philosophy on Window Mirror:

    - Peter Ingestad, Sweden